


Kisses and Cookies

by Elynn



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Simon and Baz are Roommates, Simon is sad, SnowBaz, baz just wants to help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-18 15:58:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18253115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elynn/pseuds/Elynn
Summary: Some times, Simon's depression gets the best of him.Baz is there to pick him up.





	Kisses and Cookies

When he and Snow had moved in together for university, Baz hadn’t thought that it would be that different from sharing a room at Watford. With the exception of more kissing, of course. So it begins to worry him greatly when even after months, Simon is still having trouble getting up in the mornings. 

Baz isn’t used to so much… quiet. He has lived with Simon Snow for years, and quiet was never a word in his vocabulary. Baz was used to worrying over Simon, but this was unsettling in a new way. Simon was usually in danger of something tangible, or his own magic. But this, this was a different kind of threat. It isn’t something that they could cast spells at to make it go away. 

There are days that are worse than others. Days that can turn into weeks. And sometimes, it feels like all Baz can do is watch. 

Simon Snow was made to be bright and loud, magic or not. Simon Snow has always stood out, even when he wasn’t talking. He seemed to thrum, like a machine. The boy could sit completely still, completely silent, and still draw the attention of a room of people. So it's disconcerting to see Simon so dull. When Snow gave up his magic, all the life seemed to seep out of him as well. It was like someone had put a filter over the sun. 

Baz can tell when it's a bad day. Well, when it's a worse day than usual. 

 

On the good days, Baz will wake up, warm from the body beside him. He’ll roll over, laying his head on Snow’s chest, just because he can now. Tilting his head up, Baz will pepper kisses to the underside of his jaw, his cheeks. Some days, Simon will wake with fluttering eyes.He’ll smile, then turn and catch Baz’s lips with his own, and on the best days they’ll stay in each others arms for a long time. 

Other days, though…

On other days Baz will still wake up, still dot kisses across his boyfriend. But Simon will just turn and stuff his head into the crook between Baz’s neck and shoulder. He’ll cling, and inhale deeply, the way one does when they are trying to pull themselves together. Sometimes, he will kiss Baz back, but not softly. He’ll push and push, and Baz will know that he’s trying to ground himself, to not fall into the empty well where his magic once was. 

The worst days, though, are the days Simon is awake before Baz. Days Baz will turn and find Simon already awake, staring at the ceiling. Rigid and blank, and those are the days that break Baz’s heart. He has to coax Simon out of bed on those mornings. 

You’d think Baz would get tired of it eventually. Having to take care of someone so much. But Baz remembers his time before Watford, when the bloodlust began to settle in and it hit Baz that he was  _ different.  _ He would never be like the other kids, would never connect with them. He would never be able to connect with anyone  _ ever _ . He used to hole up in his room or the library until his father or Fiona would drag him out and force him to eat, to talk. 

Baz knows that it's not the same, what Simon is going through. But it's similar enough for Baz to understand. 

 

Some days it did get to him, and they would get start to bicker. But they were Simon and Baz, and fighting each other was in their blood. Trying to get along with Snow constantly was like trying to tell birds not to fly; it was just natural. And in a way, the arguments were welcomed. They brought a spark to Simon’s eye, perked him up and brought some color to his face. 

 

Plus, they usually ended with one of them pinned against the nearest piece of furniture. So, yes, Baz welcomed the occasional spat. 

 

Really, it was pretty similar to their years at Watford, just with more snogging and different reasons to worry over Simon Snow. 

 

* * *

  
  


Baz gets out of class earlier than Simon. Simon had opted to taking later classes, while Baz took earlier ones so that he had the evening to hunt. That way, Baz had time to feed and clean himself up before Simon got back. Then they would eat dinner (usually takeout), cuddle up, and watch Netflix (Penny’s account). And, if whatever they were watching was particularly boring, they would make out (Baz’s favorite part of the evening).

Earlier, Baz had woken up to an especially clingy Simon, who had been almost completely silent throughout the rest of the morning. Baz hadn’t pressed. Pressing never helps. He simply let the morning go according to routine, and gave Snow an extra kiss before he left. 

After a long day of pretending to pay attention in his classes, Baz was left to his own devices. He had no homework- a rare occasion. Not that it really would have made a difference either way. The university classes were elementary to him, and homework was rarely a bother. He finishes up any classwork and hunts, and then out of pure boredom he bakes. He figures now is as good a time as any to practice, right?  By the time he’s finished and cleaned up the kitchen and gotten a movie up on the telly, he figured Simon would be back soon. He reclines on the couch and scrolls through his phone absentmindedly. 

 

It’s not long before Baz hears the front door open, and the thump of a bag hitting the ground. A moment later, Simon steps into the living room. Before Baz has a chance to say anything, Simon is crawling on top of him and pushing his face into Baz’s shoulder. His wings settled over them like a blanket, and Baz could feel Simon’s tail snaking around his calf. 

He tangles one hand in the mass of bronze curls, and the other runs down Snow’s back, gently massaging the place where wings met skin. Simon shoves his arms down and around Baz’s middle, so that he was holding them together. They stay like that for a while. Baz doesn’t ask questions, just holds his boyfriend and cuddles him. Simon keeps his face smashed against Baz. When Simon starts to tremble, Baz gently pries the boy from his chest. Watery blue eyes meet his, and Baz thinks that he will never get used to seeing Simon Snow cry. 

Cupping Simon’s cheek to keep his face up, he swipes his thumb at the tears that were beginning to fall. “What's wrong, love?”

Simon shrugs, and sniffles. “I just… same as always, I guess…”

Baz nods, and keeps rubbing at Simon’s tears. He pulls him forward, and kisses him slowly. Baz’s lips catch on Simon’s chapped ones, and Simon sighs, melting into him. They stay there, not quite kissing but just pressing their lips together. Trial and error had taught Baz that words of encouragement often fell on deaf ears when Simon was in the thick of one of these spells. The best he could do was comfort Simon, and hope he was enough. 

 

Baz lets Simon come back to him on his own, feeling the shaking slowly ebb from the body on top of him. Simon’s hands come up from Baz’s middle to stroke at his face and neck. The tension slides from Snow’s shoulders, and something like relief seems to settle there instead. Simon seems to wake up, and the kiss goes from slow and languid to something of more substance. Hands start to wander a bit, and the tail around Baz’s leg starts to coil a bit tighter. It takes a great amount of willpower for Baz to stop the tan hand that begins to creep up the hem of his shirt. He pulls away, Simon chasing him, and when Baz opens his eyes he sees Simon looking flushed. His lips are swollen and pink from the kisses, and Baz feels a sense of accomplishment. 

 

“Feeling better, love?” Baz says, smirking a bit. 

 

Simon hums, leaning in again. “Yeah.” Baz can feel his smile against his lips. Then, he feels Simon pull away. 

 

“Is that chocolate chip?” Simon sniffs the air. 

 

“Perhaps.”

 

Simon grins at him, and it's that soft little grin that he only ever gives Baz. It's odd how even after all these months of having Snow, his stupid smiles could still make Baz’s heart feel like it was imploding. Honestly, it was ridiculous. 

 

“Thank you,” Simon whispers. Baz scoffs.

“Who says I made them for you? Maybe I was just bored.”

“Whatever you say, Basil,” murmurs Simon, and he kisses Baz again. Then he untangles himself from Baz and stands. 

 

“Cookie time.” 

 

Baz rolls his eyes and lets himself be pulled up and dragged to the kitchen. 

 

Baz isn't good at empty words of comfort. Simon isn’t good at receiving them. Baz can’t cook, but Simon can’t tell the difference from a good meal and a bad one anyways. They’re both trying, in their own ways. Trying to relearn each other and learn this new life. And sometimes that ment bad cookies and watching Netflix into the ungodly hours of the morning until he could get Simon to laugh again. 

  
(And snogging,  _ of course _ ).

**Author's Note:**

> This was more of a writing exercise than something with actual substance. I just finished Carry On and I had to write something for them :')


End file.
